If given a choice, which would you prefer as a Valentine’s Day gift: chocolate or steak?
Trick question: it’s not a choice.
There’s really only one perfect Valentine’s Day present in the world, and it comes from a cow.
You may be saying, “Steak?! That’s too fancy and meaty for Valentine’s Day!”
I say, “No such thing.”
In fact, steak is irrefutably the best Valentine’s Day gift money can buy, as diagrammed by exhibit A (click on the image to enlarge).
Still not convinced? I’ve got a whole list of irrefutable reasons why steak is the ultimate Valentine’s Day gift right here.
1. Steak is an aphrodisiac. I’m not even going to explain this one. It’s just science.
2. Steak is a chance to “try new things” with your special someone. Your vegetarian lover is going to be in for a surprise!
3. Steak is practical. Girl’s gotta eat, right?
4. Steak is gourmet but cheaper than alternatives. You don’t even want to know roses cost per pound…
5. Steak is an inexpensive cut compared to diamonds. Princess cut diamond necklace: $300. New York Strip cut: $5.99/lb
6. Steak says “I think outside the box” … of chocolates.
7. Steak doesn’t die after a week. Take that, roses!
8. Steak is good for your heart. Your metaphorical heart (jury is still out on the effect steak has on your functioning heart).
9. Steak supports a good cause. No wait. Your love of steak and feeling full is a GREAT cause.
10. Steak is something you can share together. Or not.
11. Steak comes in a wide variety for every taste. Medium rare, medium, medium-well. Different strokes for different folks.
12. Steak is sexy. It goes great with a glass of wine and a Barry White album.
13. Steak doesn’t need wrapping. It’s already a beautiful Valentine’s Day red.
14. Steak says, “I love you enough to sacrifice an animal for you.” Who needs a card?
Eat your heart out 🙂
For those that insist on chocolate…
I wanted to do something special for my readers on Valentine’s Day. Because I love you 🙂 But despite the evidence that steak is clearly the superior gift on V-Day, I couldn’t find a way to give away cow parts.
So I’ve settled. Just a little, anyways. Chocolate isn’t my first choice, but it’s a damn good runner up.
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